The Art of Tussle

Playful Consciousness in Relationships

What is Tussle?

Tussle (also called "flowery combat") is the practice of using humor, physicality, playful challenge, and conscious energy to create connection and nervous system regulation between partners.

It's consciousness expressed through play - a way of staying open and engaged during moments of disconnection, moodiness, or tension.

From David Deida's work on conscious relationships

When to Use Tussle

  • • Partner has energy they need to move
  • • Mood is "rainy" not a crisis
  • • They need to feel met, not solved
  • • You can stay grounded

When NOT to Tussle

  • • Partner is genuinely distressed
  • • Trauma is activated
  • • You're reactive yourself
  • • They explicitly ask for space

Ground yourself before tussle

A quick breathing practice can help regulate your nervous system and bring you back to center.

Your Progress

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Avg Connection Shift:0/10

Practice Scenarios

⚠️ Important Notes

  • • This is educational content, not therapy
  • • Tussle requires safety and mutual consent
  • • Not appropriate for abusive relationships
  • • Seek professional help for trauma or serious distress